26: A Year Around The Table

Written by Denisa Nica

This week, The Table turns one

To mark the anniversary, I went back through a year’s worth of notes from our gatherings to remember where we started, notice what has changed, and see what I know now that I couldn’t have known when we first began.

I’m sharing what surprised me, what I’m grateful for, what I’m still wondering about, and a few things I’m thinking about as we head into year two.

And even if The Table is never part of your life, I think there’s something here for you too. Because underneath this little anniversary reflection are bigger questions about how we’re formed, what we need from one another, and what helps the things that matter to us become part of the way we actually live. Listen in.

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  • I’m Denisa Nica, and welcome to Walking Anyway. You’re listening to episode 26.

    This is a podcast about living faithfully in uncertain seasons, when life feels unclear and nothing is quite settling yet. If you’re not quite sure how to move through this in a way that feels steady and true, you’re in the right place to keep walking anyway. Each week I offer a reflection and a gentle way to help you live faithfully, one ordinary step at a time.

    I’m an author and spiritual director, and the founder of The Table—an online spiritual formation community shaped by a weekly rhythm, where women practice this kind of faithful living together, at their own pace, in the middle of their real lives and faith.

    I live in Spain, where life moves a little slower, and that has changed the way I pay attention and the way I live inside my own life.

    This week we’re celebrating one year of The Table, which has given me a good reason to go back through a year’s worth of notes and see what I find there. I’m sharing what surprised me, what I’m grateful for, a question I’m still carrying, and a few things I’m thinking about as we head into year two. And whether or not you’ve ever been part of The Table, I think there’s something here for all of us who are trying to figure out what it means to live faithfully with God and with one another. Listen in.

    This week, The Table turns one.

    If you listen to this podcast regularly, you already know about The Table. I mention it in the intro of the show every week, and sometimes I invite you to come and join us.

    But if you’re new here, or you’ve heard me talk about The Table and you’re still not entirely sure what it is, I should probably explain.

    The Table is an online spiritual formation community for women.

    We have live gatherings, but there’s a rhythm around those gatherings that continues through the week and the month. We usually follow a formation arc together, which is really just a way of staying with what’s happening in our lives.

    So, for example, what is life like in the first week of November, in the year of our Lord 2026? That’s the stuff of The Table.

    What is actually happening in our lives right now, and what might it look like to pay attention to God here?

    So we’ll have a gathering around a particular theme, and then we stay with that theme during the following week. We call that our reflection week. We’re not starting another conversation right away, we’re living with the one we’ve already begun. And then we come back together.

    The Table itself is a private online space, and I think of it a little bit like a house. There’s the place where we all gather, and then there are other rooms.

    We have a prayer room. We share spiritual practices. There’s a formation library and a listening room. We read books together from time to time and come back to talk about them. Some women spend more time in those spaces than others.

    It really does feel a little bit like a house to me. Not everybody is always in the same room at the same time.

    But we keep coming back.

    And the women themselves come from different places too. Some are part of churches and Christian communities, and some aren’t right now. The Table isn’t meant to replace church. It’s a smaller, ongoing place for spiritual formation, and because we keep returning, over time we know more of one another’s lives.

    So that’s The Table. And this week, somehow, it’s been a year.

    Over the last few days, I’ve been going back through the notes I’ve kept after our gatherings this past year. I wanted to remember where we started, pay attention to what has changed, and notice what I know now that I couldn’t have known when we first began.

    There were things I expected when I started The Table, and there were things I hoped would happen. And then there are the things that actually happened, which are usually much more interesting.

    So today I thought I’d share some of what I found as I went back through those notes.

    We’ll be doing some of this together at The Table on Thursday too. It feels right that I get to reflect on the year here with you, and then sit down with the women who actually lived it with me.

    And even if The Table is never part of your life, I think some of what I’ve been learning there has something to say about what we need from one another as we try to live faithfully.

    Because really, these aren’t only questions about The Table. They’re questions about how we’re formed, what helps us keep going, and the part other people play in all of that.

    So wherever you find community—or even if you’re still looking for it—I think there will be something here for you too.

    There are four things I want to talk about: what surprised me this year, what I’m grateful for, what I’m still wondering about, and what I want to carry with me into year two.

    Let’s start with what surprised me.

    One of those things has to do with answers. I think when I started The Table, I assumed people needed answers more often than they actually do.

    Of course, there are times when we need advice or perspective, or somebody who knows more than we do to help us figure something out.

    But when I went back through my notes, I was struck by how much of what women brought into the room this year couldn’t really be answered.

    One of my notes from June for example, mentions three things women brought with them that day: anger, desire, and discouragement. I had forgotten that those three things showed up in the same gathering.

    And what I wrote afterward was that there was room for what was actually there. Nobody needed to become less angry or less disappointed before we could keep going.

    I think I’m more comfortable with that now, than I was a year ago. I don’t feel quite the same pressure to get us somewhere.

    Another surprise has been belonging.

    After our communal Sabbath this summer, one woman said that coming back felt a little like seeing friends you haven’t talked to for a while. You just pick up where you left off.

    And that was exactly what happened. We came back and kept going. I had wondered if taking that much time away from one another would change something. It did, I suppose, but not in the way I expected.

    And then there’s the rhythm of The Table itself.

    When we started, we gathered every week. That made sense to me. We were new, we were getting to know one another, and weekly seemed like a good rhythm.

    But as the year went on, I kept hearing from the women that they wanted more time between gatherings.

    They weren’t asking for more. They were asking for more time with what we had already done.

    That was interesting.

    They wanted to sit with a conversation for a while. Pray with it. Notice what came up during the week before we started another one.

    So we changed the rhythm. Now we gather one week, and the next week is a reflection week. And then we come back together again.

    And I have to tell you, this is one of those things that I knew before I knew it. I knew formation was slow. Of course I knew that. I could have told you all kinds of things about why formation takes time.

    And then I created a formation community and filled every week. So there you go.

    The women taught me to leave more room.

    The second thing I wrote down was what I’m grateful for.

    And this one was easy. I’m grateful for the women. There was a gathering recently when we finished and nobody left. We were done. I had nothing else planned. And they just stayed and talked.

    I think it was another forty minutes.

    Which made me laugh a little because I spend quite a bit of time thinking about what we’re going to do when we’re together, and on that particular day everyone seemed perfectly happy for me to stop facilitating so they could talk to each other.

    I love that. I love that they know each other now. They remember what’s going on in each other’s lives. They ask questions. They pray for each other.

    And we laugh a lot. I’m really grateful for that too.

    I’m grateful for what these women have trusted us with this year. I know people they love and things they’re worried about. I know some of what they’re waiting for.

    And they know things about me too. Actually, that’s probably another part of what I’m grateful for.

    I’m grateful for The Table for myself.

    When we moved to Spain, I left a church community I had been part of for many years. I left people who knew me, and a lot of the familiar structures that had supported my life with God for a long time.

    And I missed that. I wasn’t really looking for another book or course. I had plenty of those, and some of them were very good, and I still need those things. They do different work in my life. What I was missing, was somewhere to come back to.

    People who knew what was going on in my life. Conversations we could continue instead of starting again every time. Some kind of regular rhythm of being with other people who were also trying to pay attention to their lives with God.

    I looked for something like that and I couldn’t quite find it, and that was part of why I started The Table.

    I think I can see that more clearly now than I could a year ago.

    I created something I needed too, and I still need it. Because while faithfulness is personal, I don’t think it was ever meant to be entirely private.

    I really like being at The Table.

    I like these women. I like hearing what’s going on in their lives. I like that we pray together and sit in silence together and that sometimes we stay much longer than we planned because nobody is quite ready to leave.

    So yes, I’m grateful for The Table. Very much so.

    The third thing on my list is what I’m still wondering about.

    I keep notes after The Table partly because I want to remember what happened, but also because there are things I’m still trying to understand.

    I’ve spent years studying spiritual formation. I’ve been receiving spiritual direction for a long time, and now I offer it to others. And, of course, I’ve spent all those same years trying to live this stuff myself.

    So this isn’t new territory for me.

    But The Table has given me a different place to watch it happen.

    One of the things I find myself wondering about is why it can be so hard to make room for the things we already know we need.

    We can know we need community or prayer or some regular way of tending to our life with God and still have a very full Tuesday.

    And I’m especially interested in that moment before someone comes into a community like The Table.

    What makes her decide to try it?

    What gets in the way?

    I don’t want a woman to think she needs to get her life under control before she comes, or that she has to arrive with something interesting to say. I don’t want someone who has been away for a while to think she needs to catch up before she can come back.

    I want her to be able to bring the life she actually has.

    I have some ideas about what helps with that. A year around The Table has certainly given me some.

    But I don’t want to answer the question too quickly.

    And actually, you don’t have to be part of The Table to have something to say about this.

    Maybe you’ve found a community, or even a friendship, where you’ve been able to show up as you are. Or maybe you’ve wanted something like that and haven’t quite found your way into it.

    I’d really love to know what you’ve noticed. I’m still taking notes.

    The last thing on my list is what I want to carry into year two.

    One of the threads I’m following is what happens between our gatherings. The reflection weeks are part of that. And I’m paying close attention to what happens after we receive something that matters to us?

    Does it stay with us?

    Does it show up differently a few days later when we’re back inside the ordinary parts of our lives?

    That question is becoming important to me beyond The Table too. What helps what we receive as spiritual formation, become part of the way we actually live?

    I don’t have a neat answer to that, but I want to keep following it.

    I’m also thinking about trying an occasional workshop at The Table. Something a little different from our regular gatherings, where we could spend more time with one particular question or practice.

    I have a few ideas I’m playing with.

    And then there are things I’m deliberately not deciding yet. Right now, alternating gathering weeks and reflection weeks is serving us well.

    Will we always do it this way?

    I don’t know.

    I listen pretty carefully during our gatherings, and sometimes something a woman says stays with me for days. I write those things down. I pray about them.

    I’m learning to ask what is needed now.

    What was needed six months ago may not be what is needed now.  And sometimes, of course, nothing needs to change at all.

    I think I’m giving myself more permission to learn as I lead. To make a thoughtful decision without requiring it to become a permanent one.

    I know much more clearly what The Table is now, than I did a year ago. And I think that actually gives me more freedom with how we do it.

    So I have some ideas for year two, we’ll see which ones are still here when I sit down with these notes again next November.

    And before I finish, because this is a birthday episode, I wanted to give you something too.

    I’ve been working on something called the Walking Anyway Practice. It’s a simple practice you can take into your own life with God, whether or not you ever become part of The Table.

    It seemed like the right thing to share this week.

    So consider it my little birthday gift to you. I’ll put it in the show notes.

    And if you’ve been listening to all of this and wondering what it would actually be like to come to The Table, that’s why we have the Guest Seat.

    Think of it as a way to come through the front door and stay for three weeks.

    That gives you enough time to experience the rhythm of The Table rather than coming to one gathering and trying to decide what you think. You can come to a gathering or two, experience a reflection week, and spend some time inside the community.

    You won’t have access to every room in the house, but you’ll have enough to get a feel for the place. And there’s nothing you have to do when you come.

    You don’t have to tell us your whole story or have something particularly insightful to say. You can join a gathering and listen. You can take your time.

    I suppose if I were sitting across from you and you asked me, “Denisa, how do I know if The Table might be for me?” I would probably say this.

    If you care about your life with God and you want somewhere to bring that part of your life, you might like it here.

    Maybe you already have a church you love. Maybe you read and pray and listen to things that help you. You’re not necessarily looking for more teaching. You’d just like somewhere to keep having the conversation.

    And maybe there are things in your life that aren’t resolved. A relationship you don’t know what to do with. Something that has changed. A question about God or yourself that you’re still living with.

    Or  life is fairly ordinary right now. You would just really like to know some other women who want to talk about these things too.

    That’s enough.

    You don’t have to be a certain age, and you don’t need to know anything about spiritual formation before you come. You can just come and see.

    That’s what the Guest Seat is for.

    It lasts for three weeks, and I’ll put the link in the show notes.

    And if you have questions about The Table, I have a Q&A on my website, or you can always send me an email.

    Thank you for letting me tell you a little more about this place that has become so dear to me.

    I hope as you’ve been listening, you’ve been thinking a little about your own life too. About the people who know you, the places you return to, the things that are forming you, and whether there’s enough room in your life for any of them to really stay with you.

    You may already have people and places like that. If you do, I hope you know what a gift they are.

    Or you’re realizing you’d like more of that in your life.

    I think that’s worth paying attention to.

    May you find people you can be honest with. May you find somewhere you can keep showing up as you are, with the life you actually have. May it find you too.

    Thanks for listening to episode 26.

    I hope this conversation has helped you think about your own life with God and the people and places that are part of it, and notice what you already have, what you’re grateful for, or even what you might be longing for a little more of.

    And if you thought of someone while you were listening today and found yourself thinking, Oh, she would really like or need this, send her this episode.

    You can be the one who introduces her to The Table. And if you’d like, invite her to take a Guest Seat and come with you. Sometimes it’s easier to walk into a new room when you already know someone inside.

    And if Walking Anyway has been good company for you, would you take a second to rate the show? It really does take a second.

    And if you have another minute, leave a short review. Reviews really do matter. They help other people find the podcast and decide whether they might want to come back and spend a little time with us each week.

    Thank you for doing that, and really, thank you for being here. There are a lot of things you could do with these few minutes every week, and I don’t take it for granted that you spend some of them with me.

    As always, you can find me at denisaonica.com., or on Instagram at denisa.o.nica.

    As you step back into your day, notice what stayed with you, and let that be enough for today. And you know what I always say: just like light moving through a room— you don’t need to see everything at once to keep living faithfully here.

    And since you only turn one once, I think we should have a toast.

    Here’s to every woman who pulled up a chair this year, however long you stayed. I’m so grateful you came.

    Here’s to the stories you trusted us with, the prayers we’re still praying, the questions we still don’t have answers for—and all the laughing we did in between.

    Here’s to strangers who became friends, to the ways God met us when we showed up, and to everything that happened that I never could have planned.

    And here’s to whatever we’ll be talking about this time next year.

    Happy birthday, Table.

    Thanks for listening. I’ll be here with you next time.

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